The Marriage Bed

God says in Heb 13:4–5, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

Marriage is a covenant created by God reflecting His covenant to us. God created the marriage bed to be holy, sanctified. He has set boundaries for our protection, joy, and most importantly for His glory (Eph 5:21–33). Like the bull bellowing across to the neighboring cows, it is easy for us to look outside the boundary at what doesn’t belong to us (Matt 5:28). Undefiled means pure. Purity comes by being washed in Christ’s blood. The bed is kept pure by following Christ. It is where God blesses a couple with joy, excitement, fulfillment, security, and more. There is a complete book in the Old Testament, Song of Songs, dedicated to this and how it reflects our relationship with the Holy Trinity.

Here are some keys to making the bed. (1) Be thankful for your spouse, exuberant, from the depths of your inner being. Heb 13:5 says to be content. In biblical terms, content means thinking we have MORE THAN ENOUGH (Luke 6:38)! (2) Give security to your spouse. Christ has promised He will never leave us nor forsake us (Rom 8:38–39). In His promise we are secure to hold fast in the tough times to serve our spouse and to assure them with our actions and words that we will not leave nor forsake them. This includes being engaged in mind, body and spirit in daily conversation, taking care of the kids, and performing daily chores. (3) No division exists between the couple. We must be real and honest with God and our spouse. Second to God, our spouse should know everything about us: insecurities, struggles, wishes, hopes, dreams, successes, etc. Prayer brings this full circle. (4) Pray daily out loud with and for each other. Something supernatural occurs when a couple prays out loud for each other, Tammy and I have experienced it.

I can tell you as someone who was in bondage to pornography for over 30 years and with what God has done in my life over the last 5 years that there is joy, security, wholesomeness, and healing in my marriage with following Christ. To God be the glory!

Mark Anderson