Don’t Look Back!

A central pillar of contemporary counseling protocol goes something like this: to get to the “root” cause of people’s problems, the counselor should explore a person’s past to find any trauma they suffered in their childhood that causes their contemporary issues. Anger issues? That problem might stem from having a neglectful father. Marriage problems? That stems from the bad communication methods you learned as a child. Afraid of commitment? Your boyfriend broke your heart in high school is why you feel that way. This type of thinking has been very influential in the counseling community, and I inherited this approach while in seminary.

Despite its popularity, I’ve found it less than helpful both personally and professionally. In fact, I think it can be harmful. Recalling painful memories is painful. Focusing on traumatic experiences produces trauma. Why do this? When I focus on the pain (“this situation made me so mad, because this person did that”), my heart is not well-served—bitterness bubbles up. Why focus on pain? That’s focusing on the wrong thing. Brooding over the past does no one any good. Here’s an alternative: stop looking backwards!

The Bible has a lot to say about this spiritual principle. Remember Lot’s wife? Moses states that she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt (Gen 19:26). The Lord Jesus Christ says, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62). The apostle Paul writes, “forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal” (Phil 3:13–14). The emphasis in all these passages is don’t look back. The past is the past—it cannot be changed and it doesn’t define us. What does define us is what the Holy Spirit is doing in our lives right now.

A rear-view mirror is great. We need those when we drive, especially when we’re backing up. However, we also realize that most of our driving is forward-facing, so our focus needs to be more on the windshield than on the rear-view mirror. If it’s not, we’ll probably crash. The same is true with the challenges in our minds. Focus on where the Lord is taking you and what He’s doing in your life right now, not on the pain and problems of the past.

Pastor Chance Sumner